I too got very angry & took his aggressive behaviour personally! So feel for you. After doing this 3 times its already working & just the threat of going to his room is working! ![]() We have just resorted to shutting him in his room to calm down as we can't ignore the behaviour otherwise & so there's no improvement. ![]() He is a very strong willed, intelligent little boy which makes it even more of a challenge! generally toward me or my husband (never the baby). His tantrums consist of screaming, shouting, hitting, kicking, throwing etc etc. While I was pregnant with #2 (now 6 weeks old) his behaviour was at its worse & I struggled with him emotionally & physically. It took us a while to realise his rages & poor behaviour were actually tantrums. My DS who is 3 years 9 months has terrible tantrums. I have found this thread very reassuring, thank you everyone. I must admit, though, I'm only successful at taking this approach 90% of the time - although, I have a lovely friend who always reminds me that I tend to react negatively to only the most extreme behaviours, and that it is fine for kids to figure out that you have a snapping point. Leave it at that - stay calm, reduce the opportunity for negative attention seeking, and best of luck to you. Follow up when all is calm with a couple of quick statements - one should show empathy - eg - "You must have been very cross/sad/angry to have had such a big tantrum, but we don't (insert inappropriate behaviour description here)". But, walking away give you and the child the space to deal with this. If they're in an unsafe environment, pick them up, hold them tight (remind yourself this is a comforting cuddle, not a fight) and pop them into bed until it passes.Īt the time, I know it's incredibly difficult - especially if you are on the receiving end of anything physical. I found that any intervention, but especially those that involved touch or trying to soothe usually meant I ended up getting hurt, which elevated my anger and usually led to shouting, and sometimes saying things that weren't helpful. You can deal with the behaviour when they're calmer. Close the door behind you, if you need to keep separate - you can even hold it shut if they try and reach you. And the less you can see, the closer that horror lives.Oh, I get where you're coming from! If your child is in a safe enough place - you just need to walk away. The horror that lingers offscreen, the one we can’t be sure about, is the one that leaves us most uncomfortable. It’s the intruders in The Strangers hovering casually in the corner of a frame hearing but not seeing Jennifer Jason Leigh’s body being ripped in half between two trucks in The Hitcher never actually seeing the Blair Witch or discovering the call is coming from inside the house in When A Stranger Calls. You just have to believe it might, and it’s in that dark corner where the ceiling meets the wall, where the gap lies between the shelves or in the space under the bed where, if the lights are off, you can’t say what’s waiting there. I’ve learned that a “monster” doesn’t actually have to be there. In Piranha, Joe Dante's homage to the monster-on-the-loose genre, the sound is where the terror lies. ![]()
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